Thursday, December 15, 2011
still two weeks until the end of the year, and yet today i reached a point where i just wished it was over already. call it end-of-year burnout. this seems to happen to me every December, but this year it seems my reserves have run dry especially early. i'll spare you all the boring details, but my regular job, my side job, a long list of to-dos, gift making & other holiday prep, a lack of 'fresh air' in these dark, cold days, and i'm feeling very run down and walking a very fine line between exhaustion and a full implosion, including the niggling feeling that if i let down my vigilance for a moment i'll get sick too. so at the end of work today i thought about just crawling into bed and not getting out till January.
but instead, i went and got a little fir tree. on these dark days (literally and figuratively), a few bloggers have been reminding me to pause and breathe, to revel in the glow of the season. thanks Maggie, Amanda, Tara, and i'm sure others too. that sometimes to-do lists need to go out the window. that expectations are not everything. that a little sparkle can illuminate the darkest days. i (and we) have never had a tree of our own. we spend each christmas eve at my parents' home, and have never felt the need to have our own bit of green. but today i stopped at a roadside farm with a large sign that read "any christmas tree $12" and picked out a small one just for us. i brought it home and nestled it in a garden pot with rocks for support, and hung my small selection of ornaments and a string of lights. and i plan to spend most of the evening just enjoying its glow. (oh and maybe watch a little charlie brown christmas.) i might make it through this month after all.